Welcome !
If you are new to us, you are welcome to come to our public events, available by
contacting us at info@aliantha.org If our mission
speaks to you, please check us out and get to know us.
We welcome the wisdom and energy new people can bring.
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STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
We are Aliantha. We gather together to encourage personal growth, honest relationships,
and supportive community. To realize these goals, we create time and space where there is
safety, support and encouragement for us to increase our awareness of ourselves and our
relationships.
Some of the things we seek to be aware of are: |
What is happening in this moment?
What am I feeling?
Why am I feeling this way?
What colors my interpretation of what is happening or what I'm feeling?
How can I be honest about my interpretations to myself and others?
What fears or blocks exist that may prevent me from responding in a healthy, constructive
way?
Am I taking responsibility for my own well-being?
Do I need support to process my feelings?
Am I willing to seek out support?
Am I willing to reach out to someone in need?
Am I willing to overcome issues between myself and other members?
Do I see any dynamics that act as barriers to communication and healthy intimacy?
Am I willing to speak honestly about those barriers and work to transcend them?
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Our experience is that by
exploring these questions honestly with each other we can bring deeper personal happiness,
create healthier relationships, and build more resilient community. From this we can be
catalysts for positive transformation for others as well as ourselves.
Gentleness, honesty, clarity and compassion are qualities we wish to cultivate whenever we
gather together, so that we can build healthier lives and deeper relationships.
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Who We Are
Aliantha is a community of about 40 people, primarily in northern Virginia, but also in
DC and Maryland, who seek close intimate relationships with each other.We are not a
physical community - we have our individual homes and families.But we generally live
within a half hour of each other, and meet together regularly to strengthen our ties to
each other. We first started meeting together in November
1999.
We work on personal growth,
healthy relationships, and intimate community. Probably our prime characteristic is our
emphasis on how to be close, both physically and emotionally, as a group and a network of
friends.We work a lot on communicating clearly, dealing with expressing difficult
feelings, defining and respecting boundaries, and stating our needs.We focus on our
feelings towards each other, and strive to build deep intimate friendships that are
satisfying and lasting. We work on being vulnerable with each other - exposing our
insecurities, hurts, and other things that we tend to hide from the rest of the world.
We also have a strong emphasis on
expressing physical affection. We hug a lot, and do a lot of cuddling and massaging,
always within a safe space created by a lot of emphasis on communication and boundaries.
Aliantha has its roots in a club called CuddleBuddies,
whose purpose was to foster safe, nurturing, non-erotic touch. We are touch-positive and
sex-positive, and believe that we must deal openly and honestly with our sexuality and
sexual feelings in order to have true intimacy.
We are more a community than a
club. People who become members are expected to be part of us, to participate, to get to
know us, and to let us get to know them. We are welcoming and supportive of all lifestyles
- polyamorous, monogamous, celebate, straight, gay, bisexual. We wish to make room for all
who agree with our basic principles. We seek above all to create safe space - a place
where people are healed rather than hurt.
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Our Structure
We accept people as members if they agree with our purpose and participate in our
events. Membership is by concensus so that we feel good about our own membership. There is
no formal leadership. Decisions are given to the membership for discussion before they are
implemented.
We are open to anything that
works, and anything that people have the energy to implement. Aliantha consists of its
members, and only does as much as its members have time, energy, and will to do. We have
no fees, no literature, and no property -
Aliantha is the people who make it up.
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Our Beliefs
We believe human relationships can be healthy, respectful, and satisfying. There are
many well-established ways of resolving conflict between two people, of learning how to
listen, of being able to express feelings honestly, directly, and without accusation or
judgement.
We believe that it is possible to form a community of people who are able and willing
to support each other through tough times, who can learn to resolve conflict and factions,
who can learn to be open to each other without losing their own individual rights or needs
We believe it is possible to heal from past wounds and trauma, to release fears,
resentment, and hatred, and to be open to intimacy, honesty. We believe we can learn to
truly love and be truly loved. We believe that a support system composed of safe,
non-judgmental people is crucial to helping us recover from past wounds and grow to our
full potential.
We believe we are all at different stages of healing and development, and room must be
made for our shortcomings. No one is perfect. We all have a lot more potential than we
have realized. We must be tolerant of the shortcomings of anyone who is seeking a better
way
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Our Philosophy
We believe that our human needs are few, that the universe is abundant, and that the
path to fulfillment is known. Some of our human needs are:
- A community - people who help us learn and
provides a safe place for us to heal from hurts
- Intimate relationships - where we get love, where
we learn to trust and be vulnerable
- A spiritual connection - with the universe, God,
nature - something that gives us purpose in life
- Satisfying goals - a way to give back to the
universe some of what we have received.
It is reasonable to expect to
meet all of these needs. The path to fulfillment is not a secret, nor is it an esoteric
doctrine of some small group. When we look around at the various philosophies, religions,
and wise people who have sought to answer these questions, common truths become obvious.
Aliantha seeks to learn from all paths that seek for truth, and to take what works for us.
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Our Methods
We are a group of individuals who have banded together for mutual support and
community. We share the understanding, strength, and experience we have, and out of that
comes our events. There is no promise that we are in any way comprehensive, and many of
our events are experiments. But we are open to new ideas and ways of growth.
We do fun events, and they serve
a serious purpose. A casual social event allows people to make new friends, open up to new
ideas, and reminds us of one of the reasons we are glad to be alive.
We do many discussions, where we
toss around ideas about relationships, needs, and life in general.
We do events centered on the body
- CuddleBuddies events, which focus on our
need for touch and physical closeness. These events help us heal from past fears and hurts
around our sexuality, physical image, or need for safe touch.
We do events centered on healing
personal issues - in particular, the support groups and co-counseling. These groups have
specific ground rules that make them safe places to feel your feelings and be heard by
other people.
We do artistic events, centering
around creativity, music, and dance. These help us connect with the greater universal part
of ourselves.
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Our Name
Many have asked, "Where did the name, Aliantha, come from?" The name
came from a book about a man's journey to find himself. Here is a quote that describes the
Aliantha of his journey:
"This is Aliantha",
said Lena. "We call them treasure-berries. It is said that a person can
walk the whole length and breadth of the Land eating only treasure-berries, and
return home stronger and better fed than before. They are a great gift of the
Earth. They bloom and bear fruit in all seasons. There is no part of the
Land in which they do not grow. And they are the hardiest of growing things - the
last to die and the first to grow again. Eat, and spread the seed over the Earth,
so that the Aliantha may flourish."
from the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever |
ALIANTHA